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To be happy is to be tied.”When it comes to romance, Americans are freer than they’ve ever been. Mark Regnerus, a sociologist at the University of Texas at Austin, thinks a lot about the price of human relationships.Freer to marry, freer to divorce, freer to have sex when and with whom they like with fewer consequences, freer to cohabitate without getting married, freer to remain single, freer to pursue open relationships or polyamory. His new book, is all about how the modern dating scene has been shaped by sexual economics, a theory which sees human mating as a marketplace.Regnerus quotes the famous psychologists Roy Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs, who write that “giving young men easy access to abundant sexual satisfaction deprives society of one of its ways to motivate them to contribute valuable achievements to the culture.” Still, it seems extreme to suggest that men need to be dragged by the dick into being productive citizens.Overall, sexual economics discounts the other things men and women have to offer each other—besides sex and “resources” and commitment.Still, there is a lot in Regnerus’s analysis that is uncomfortably astute.He’s right that it can be hard to escape these old gender dynamics when dating, especially online dating.This forces women to be choosier about who they say yes to.

Still, throughout the book, Regnerus takes this theory pretty far.

Regnerus also argues that the easy availability of sex makes men less motivated in their professional lives, because they don’t need to become successful, i.e., marriageable, to woo women to their beds.

While this may sound dubious, there is an established precedent for this theory in the field.

So they ghost and flake and dither about committing to one person.

Many women don’t need what resources men have to offer, anyway; they have their own.